Dangling Participles

One of the grammatical errors that I despise is the dangling participle.  (It sounds too much like dangling wanker, which is not a pretty thought.)

A participle needs to be immediately next to the word that it is describing, and it’s dangling if it’s in the wrong spot.  (A participle is an adjective derived from a verb.)  It’s like a cute twink, glued to his daddy.  Some examples of participles are running water, dancing cannibals, and masturbating chickens.  Notice the correct placement of the participle right next to the noun it’s describing.

Here is one blatant mistake: “Writing and editing incredibly detailed and erotic sex scenes from dawn all the way to dusk, the computer screen makes my eyes hurt.”  WTF?!  This sentence is so wrong.  First of all the computer does not make my eyes hurt.  (Vivid image of the computer poking my eyes out.)  Staring at the screen makes my eyes hurt.  But that’s not even the dangling wanker… er… ummm… I mean participle.

“Writing and editing incredibly detailed and erotic sex scenes from dawn all the way to dusk…” is the participle phrase.  It is cozied up to the noun “computer screen,” therefore the screen is the one that is writing and editing! I obviously don’t pay my computer screen enough.

The correct version should read something like: “Staring at the computer screen when I’m writing and editing incredibly detailed and erotic sex scenes from dawn all the way to dusk makes my eyes hurt.”

Why are dangling participles so prevalent?  I’ve decided that the reason is two-fold.  First, many people simply don’t know the rule and don’t even realize they are making a grammatical error.  Second, dangling participles sound better than a grammatically correct sentence.  They have zing, they have flair, and they give a paragraph some serious spiff.  All that takes a lot more work to do in the grammatically correct fashion.